Tuesday, February 28, 2006

gifts

today is my 2 wk anniversary - no chemo today!
i am feeling good despite the cold but i can tell i'm still toxic. no hair growth and i still don't sweat. i wonder if increased ear wax production is associated w/chemo? or is it associated w/baldness and more stuff blowing into my ears and tickling the wax producing organ? or is it because i have no hair to blowdry or brush and distract me so i'm imagining it?

coincidentally, i received several lovely gifts today (in random order):
• a delivery of 14 bags of groceries from Whole Foods from Dan and Deb in Boulder - THANK YOU!!!! what a fabulous treat.
• this link from Sonia to the Condiment Packet Museum. Enjoy!
• this excellent article by Ann Hornaday who was the fact checker at the first job i had in NYC at VDT NEWS and MICROWAVE NEWS (what a blast from the past). thanks B.

another gift (we're talking on the Oprah scale of things - looking for joy in the mindnumbingly mundane) - while in the container store looking for the most coveted of household organizing tools - the attractive yet functional cutlery tray - i heard a song by Ambrosia that i frequently played on the jukebox in Joe's Pizza during 11th grade lunch hour (despite ridicule): "You're the Only Woman." [they also sang, "That's How Much" and "You're the Biggest Part of Me" so don't even try to call them one hit wonders. singing in a falsetto is very very cool.]

anyway, the container store reminds me of the last support group i attended at msk. it was a thursday. A had just been diagnosed the previous friday, had started AC chemo on tuesday and was going to be scheduled for a mastectomy. the fast track. A was curious about how she'd feel after more chemo - she said she wanted to keep working - "I don't want to stay home and clean out the closets or something!"

WHAT? "that's exactly what i'm dying to do!!" i laughed even though it reminded me of Hillary saying she wasn't just staying home baking cookies. but A didn't say it with a snear.

tuck thinks the container store is the worst place on earth next to LA and Las Vegas. perhaps because it lures in people like me w/its seductive siren song "Elfa...herbal moth repellant...gift wrap bin...rubber cat door stop" [yes, i have actually purchased these items]
the container Lorelei convinces me that if i could just find the right cutlery tray, maybe all the other pieces of my life would magically fall into place...maybe i wouldn't feel like throwing a hand grenade into the apt?

why the sudden need for this drawer divider anyhow?
tucker's childhood home has sold - a year after his mother's death - and we've inherited her groovy danish mod flatware. there's also a truck showing up here sat. am w/15 cubic feet of other mementos, furniture, collectibles and check stubs. so i do the only sensible thing in the face of this motherload - i pick the most obscure, hidden, churchmouse of a place to organize and obsess about it instead of cleaning up the piles crap all over my desk or the dining table.

you see, my lack of progress closet-cleaning has more to do w/me than the chemo.

hey, speaking of gifts, those unemployment checks can't keep rolling in forever - what's the cutoff?

ok, bedtime.

3 Comments:

Blogger michelle said...

Yay - 2 weeks! I definitely recommend taking photos of your head at each anniversary. It gives you a sense of accomplishment. I don't know about you but I can't wait to have hair to blow dry again!

1:35 PM  
Anonymous Einat said...

Hi Sarah - and Michelle....

Answers:

The children in the photo are Eytan (boy ~7 yo), Ronny (girl ~4 yo), and Eshel (boy soon to be 1 yo).

I'm T2,N0,M0 and not because I didn't know or didn't test... I had ultrasounds, mammos, 2 biops within a timespan of almost 3 years - none of which came positive (I'm the % that no-one talks about...) Anyway - it was finally out because of a VERY persistent surgeon who insisted I have the BIG lump removed even though I was still breastfeeding.

I'm now doing 4 AC every 3 weeks (I already had two - and other than the first day being yaachs - and sleeping 14-20 hours I recover within 3 days - taking nothing).

My onc. wants me to either take 6 AC or go on Taxol for 12 weeks after the 4th AC - I don't really want this since I'm N0 - but maybe she's right given that they can't really tell what's inside and what's out... +:o)

I go to work because I love it - and because they let me - I have many friends there and also a good friend who had BC 4 years ago and had the same Onc. - so she's my support 24/7 at work and at home.

If you want to mail me (both of you): einat [at] il.ibm.com

I found both your blogs using Google (I was looking for young women who had 4 AC + Taxol) - and you give me lots of hope.

My mother also had BC 15 years ago - and she's fine - alive and clean (she actually refused any treatment other than mastectomy!) - so I always lived with the feeling that it may happen to me too. I just didn't think it'll happen so soon.

Do write if you want - it is fun to connect to people this way. And from you blogs I admire you both! Shopping or climbing - life goes on.

Take care,
Einat

4:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sarah,

It's wonderful to hear about all your adventures, in one kind of way I guess. My wife Deb is nearly identical in her situation with BC except that she was diagnosed in June with chemo starting in August and ending in December. The main difference is that she has that Her2Neu thing which means that she also gets new-fangled extra-chemo called Herceptin all the way until next September weekly.

Your blog is really appreciated to see that others have such similar experiences. We've got to meet up sometime. I've known Tuck for years, and not only do we both have wives in similar situations, but he moved from Ohio to NY, and I moved from NY to Ohio. Mirror images in some ways. (Deb had Right Side Mastectomy to your left side, another mirrored event to yours! HA!)

keep plugging away!

gregg davis

9:24 PM  

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